Rites, Rituals and Celebrations

Imagine a society without traditions, rites and rituals.. No celebrations with families gathered together, no weddings, baby blessings, funerals. No Christmas, Easter, New Years Eve, Birthday parties, Yule celebrations, or Hannukah. No church services on Sunday mornings, Christmas carols, or celebrations of the seasons. No mother’s day or father’s day. No cards lovingly picked out and sent on special occasions, to recognize rites of passage.

Sitting here in this building listening to this service is a ritual. Religion is totally based on the practice of rite and ritual, from reading from a certain book to following an order of service. Our coffee hour afterwards is a ritual. The only difference between what we are doing and what other denominations are doing at this same time is our choice of which doctrine, based on our own experience of rite and ritual that we choose to be involved with.

When we are involved in rite, ritual and ceremony that are part of our tradition, our values, and our memories, we get that warm fuzzy feeling of acceptance and understanding. We know what words to say and expect. This creates a feeling of wholeness within us that few things can achieve. However, when we are involved in rite, ritual and ceremony that differ from what we have come to expect, or that challenge our values and traditions, we may feel uncomfortable and left out.

I remember as a 12 year old being invited to my best friends Catholic church for a Sunday service. Being a Quaker/Baptist/Pagan myself, I was confused and embarrassed when I did not know when to stand or kneel. I followed the herd as best as I could, but I remember thinking to myself… “Boy, this is an awful lot of work just to say a prayer.”

I have been lucky enough, in my lifetime thus far to have experienced a large plethora of rite, ritual and celebration. I had aunts, uncles and cousins from many different belief systems, and I was exposed to all of them at one time or another. I found, that for me, each of them resonated to a part of who I am. I grew to love the pomp and circumstance of a Catholic Mass, the Mysticism inherent in Spiritualism, the hymns and Biblical readings of the Christians, the self understanding of the Christian Scientist, and the calmness of the soul of the Buddhist.

I guess I am even luckier in that respect that I had no preconceived notion from my parents that their way was the “only way” to the rites and rituals we call Religions. After many years of wandering through various religions and beliefs, I found that for me being a Pagan is the best fit. I think the main reason I chose Paganism as my core value system was BECAUSE of the rites and rituals. Paganism is based on rites and rituals. There are celebrations of the seasons, the moon and the sun in their journey through the heavens, and celebrations of the rites and passages we all experience in our own journey through life. To me, this is a natural celebration of the wheel of life just as it is, without the dogma or rules and regulations that many other religions or beliefs may impose.

However, that does not for a moment mean that my way is the correct way for anyone else. There are those who need a more structured system of rite and ritual. This may not only apply to the way they choose to worship and what they choose to worship, but also to their life in general. In my life, the traditional holiday celebrations are not all that important, since to me everyday is a celebration as important as the next. In our family our festival days are based more on the turning of the wheel of the seasons, than on more Biblical based celebrations.

I must say, however, that some of my most cherished memories of rite and ritual are not necessarily pagan based. I remember right after 9/11 I saw an ad in the newspaper for an interfaith service of remembrance at St. Marks Church. Julian and I sat there as every pew was filled and there were people standing three deep in the back of that huge church. We sat and wept softly along with hundreds of others as we listened to a Baptist Minister, a Jewish Rabbi, and leaders among many other faiths stand up and speak their own individual sorrows in their own individual ways. It was a time I will forever cherish in my soul.

On Christmas Eve a couple of years ago, Julian and I went to a midnight carol sing in the Anglican Church in Old Mystic Village. As we sang the old songs of faith my heart soared. It was beautiful.

Every Easter season I return to the Old Mystic Baptist Church were my mother was a member. On Maudy Thursday I sit and listen in silence, and leave in silence as is the tradition. This is the way I honor my mother, as I also honor the gift of silence.

I visit different churches on a regular basis. I often join in a Wednesday prayer meeting, or a Saturday service. On my lunch break at CVS during the summer, I oftentimes sit in the courtyard of a nearby Catholic church were there is a beautiful statue of the Goddess in the form of Mary. I contemplate the day ahead as I share bread crumbs with the birds.

My own particular brand of celebration of rites and rituals cannot be confined to any one building, any one belief, or any one particular type of worship. Unitarian Universalism is my choice of traditional Religion as Paganism is my choice of lifestyle. Both of these are very important in the way that I shape my values, but neither of them are the only way that work in my medicine bag of rites, rituals and celebrations.

We, as humankind, base our lives on rite, ritual and celebration. The customs, traditions, values, and rituals that we share individually, within our families, within our communities, and within our sacred buildings and places, shape us into who and what we are. They nurture our spirits and fill us with a sense of completeness. When catastrophes happen, we head for our churches, or to the places that we can create our individual ceremonies or rituals that allow us to heal within ourselves as well as to comfort and help heal others who are gathered with us.

On the flip side of the coin, however, what happens when our ideas or rites, rituals and values do not agree on a large scale? Disagreement, discontent and even War happens. Perhaps every war in the history of our world has been fought because of disharmony or misunderstanding concerning rites, rituals and values