Thank you for all your loving light!!

Wow, what a ride the last few weeks have been for me. I had a major personal shift yesterday. After months and months of emotional and financial struggling I finally surrendered to some parts of myself I'd thought were my authentic self...wrong.

For the last 18 years, I've been beating up my male side for I'd created a unconscious perception that he(my male side), could not..."be a man". I've believed that if you want something done send a woman, it'll get done right.
Of course, since I'd carried that frequncy, guess what types of men I'd drawn? You guessed it, ones' that kept my beliefs alive and reinforced. I then became this imbalanced work horse always doing doing and doing...busy work like I was GETTING THINGS DONE AND TAKEN CARE OF RIGHT! "Having to pick up the slack, because no half-ass Man was gonna do it for me and if I'd allow him to do it, it was sure to be done wrong!". Mind you I didn't operate this way consciously. I've always been very meek, mild and yielding, but behind all that was a seething disdain and distrust for male energies, yet inside a deeply penetrating desire for balance. I've an idea of where this consciousness was instilled in me and have taken the steps to rectify this as well.

Please my wonderful loving brothers' do not take offense, this was not really me at the core. ; )

So for years I was taking care of this and that, but not my inner soul. I was spiritual, but not tending to my soulfulness, though I know that I'm a very soul-ful being, but I wasn't BE-ing soul-full. I remember while I was married years ago that I'd exhausted myself so much that I'd visualized steering my car into a semi truck coming home early morning form my overnight job. For years I needlessly drove myself into the ground all beacuse of a perception that was not truly mine.

A year ago, with the help of my guides I had to re-enact that incident and make the choice to live, because although it hadn't occurred physically, I'd soul-fully and psychically carried it out. Parts of my soul and psyche were still at that site being attacked by negative entities...Yikes! Before then,I wasn't aware such things were possible.

Yesterday I decided that I was not going to struggle to find my place, look for this or that job. My place is wherever I am BEing the light of love. That is my occupation as well.

I woke up and lamented..."you know what? The only thing I want to do is wake up everyday BE-ing/doing Michele. If that includes working a secular job, fine, but it best be something my heart truly desires and is completely inspiring. How the universe brings this all about for me is none of my concern! I don't need to know! this is really something for me, being that I'd been used to being..."in control".

I'm done grasping and draining my energy struggling what to do do do. I AM so free! So much of my head space has opened up, I feel so light-headed. In the meantime, I'd been clearing many other old frequencies of thought that no longer serve me too.

My daughter, for the first time has been able to read my palms. In 2 years she's not been able to because I was
so blocked with junk she could not read through it. It hurt her head. My palms are as clear as day now!!!

Today I got a call from my manager regarding my career as a a vocalist. I'd been frantically calling and calling her regarding performing again and again with no movement...it was going nowhere...so I thought! Talk about insatnt manifesto!

I just had to down and dirty and "get real" and let go..."for real". I'm riding the wave!!!!!

Several wonderfully insightful beings' here have given me insight that has catapulted my transformation. Eternal blessings to you magnificent Lights!

Michele ; )