Everything Will Be Better than Alright, About This Persona, And My Three Wishes (edited)

I feel that I am finally catching up with who I truly am, and I who I always knew I was despite the appearances. I know many have thought that I am a very gloomy person, but I really am not. While it was hard even for myself at times to believe in what I feel deep down is the truth about myself, it must be even harder for many people who don't really know much about me. A few months ago I had an urge to become more active here on this site, and it did turn into another blessed intuition based experience for me. To some I've been saying that I am able to see a grain of sand in a sandbox (maybe you'll see the humor of the image included here...:-)). It means that I am very careful, cautious and explicit about every piece of information that comes to me or that I give out... but most of all that everything that surrounds me (physical or abstract) is a mirror in which I learn something new about myself or how to adjust my approach to the world. Since Easter this process has definitely escalated and so I have no doubt there is a huge infiltration of high frequencies at this moment. However, my angst is giving way and I trust that my intuition is correct: the worst 'examination' or 'test' part and the lessons through adversity are now more or less behind me. I am sure this goes for many of us who have wanted to evolve more deeply at this time in their lives. Now a time of integration is coming up and so it is a good idea to tune down a little and take it a little easy. So if I am not quite as active as I've been, it's not a sign of anything negative, on the contrary!

The visit to the US did bring me many insights that were important to me. I was better able to see what it means to me to be Finnish and so I feel that this part in me is now more integrated. The old intense dislike of the country and feelings of being trapped here are gone, and I can see what good this environment has given me. For instance, it is a place that supports honesty and straight talk, and while this was something quite unusual and almost threatening to some in the US, I could see what an asset it is for me to have this disposition not only through my personality and convictions, but through my culture as well.

I've been looking at many things here on LW especially, and there are few wishes or suggestions I'd like to present. We all know what a limited view of topics can be presented in blogs and forums, and how little time we all have to really read postings with great care. I would hope that we all become still more discerning in our approach to each other and most of all, take responsibility for the information that we pass onto others. Since the flood of information is so enormous and confusing, making sense of it all can cause undue stress in individuals who are not quite sure what their life purpose (or as I prefer to say in accordance with a native expression over here, 'the life's work'.) Let us always remember those who either are still weak or have parts in them that have not yet healed correctly. I believe in compassion but note that I am not talking of pity. I feel no pity towards anyone since I believe a certain life path has been chosen. To assist as we see fit, (letting intuition guide us, I hope!) can surely never be wrong. I admit that concerns about what to do and how may dissolve once our energy level is high enough so that we act out of a sense of joy, but until then caution is not a bad thing, as I see it. The human mind is unfortunately equipped to create great mind games and so by observing our minds as much as possible we can gradually fix many distorted belief systems but also try and avoid the manipulations of our ego-selves as well as manipulating others. Another thing I've noticed is that people use terms that seem obvious to them but the high level of abstraction in many discussions makes it hard for the participants to know what exactly is being said if the terminology hasn't been determined. It might be a good idea sometimes to define what a certain word is supposed to mean exactly in order to avoid further confusion.

I do not like to brag, which may very well also have a little to do with my Finnish origins. Sometimes when I write out of a sense of need or inner pressure, I bring out a lot of negative aspects of my existence. It's my way of dealing with them and releasing them, knowing that this will also help some other people to allow their own shadows to emerge for release. I think that those who do not resonate with this do not have to worry about what I am doing on my private blog space. However, I've noticed that this has also caused some misunderstandings as to what my intentions are. My true intentions, which I believe are of 'light' only, will become more clear to those who need it later on when my own 'life's work' is completed (and they be the judge of course, lol...). In some respects I have been fortunate and the universe has provided me with opportunities when I needed them the most. That is, primarily when my SOUL needed them. And I have always felt rich at the level of my soul.

In recent years chaos has prevailed in my own life and apparently in many other's too, but from chaos new order prevails. At least this principle is still at work in the 3D reality, although changes may happen on all levels of existence. I do not know what the changes are and do not wish to speculate, only trust that I too have a 'place' in all this. For a while I was anxious that I didn't that maybe my gifts to the world had ran out of date etc. I don't feel that anymore, I feel confident that things just change shape. However a third wish that I have is, that we would try not to assume too much about other people. Human beings like to categorize but part of the process of letting go of the old ways of doing things is to push the 'clear' button every once in a while and look at a person or a situation from a neutral point of view. In the best of cases, this neutrality can be turned into love. Thank you Donna for explaining this in a simple way that I can now keepsake as a simple principle to go by.

I have tried to explain things about myself in previous writings, but have noticed that much of it has been thought of as complaining or asserting the right to hold onto my old beliefs. I do not think this is the case. I may not have experienced much joy and happiness in my life (and I know it was for a good reason though I didn't feel deserving of it) but I've had moments of accomplishment. I do not like to be underestimated either! Many may scorn at my academic (Master's) degree (incidentally in the psychology of religion along with mysticism, Buddhism and New Age thought, not least the idea of humans as co-creators of reality, as my main points of focus) and other diplomas that I have acquired in the past, the 200 pieces of artwork I've created, or the four languages I speak fluently while I know the basics of three others... but just remember, just because someone is in a really tough cycle of life or disabled like me, and has not felt well adjusted to this world, it doesn't mean they are a loser or don't know the basics of esoteric truths.

Some might have noticed that I've spent much time working on my profile page. I felt a great need to do so, and in so doing share with others my personal values of compassion, tolerance, warmth, creativity and my attempts to manifest a more pleasurable and sensuous life, heading towards a joyous existence. Although it appears that the entity who is 'me' in this incarnation is way more than what meets the eye, I make a point of staying grounded in the planetary frequencies simply because this is the reality in which my consciousness (the part that is manifested as the person I am) is right now, and there is a darn good reason for it! I have regained my earlier confidence that I am also here to help heal this place, I have always wanted to but at a point in time I was too burn out to truly believe that I could do much... or let's just say I was confused. My whole life was being thrown into chaos and slowly reset to a new mode. Things I have attempted to detach from seem to come back to me in a new form. Changes I've always embraced more than willingly was scaring the wits out of me for a while, but now I feel I'm back in the flow of change and that the fears are gradually being released for good.

A Part of me is still slightly worried to express these positive issues, since I am conditioned to always fear the bad times, and other things that date back to the past. But truth to say, my ability for some foresight does seem to be there despite the confusion I've been through ('what is premonition, what is fear, what is intuition.... which is which?' - sigh, tremble and sweat!). But I know everything will be alright. So much healing has happened to me as well as to my relationships. This is where it all starts. Encounter engenders life. Without encounter, we do not exist. Have a blessed full moon! You are very beautiful and special people and the thing that has touched me the most is to finally feel a degree of belonging. Thank you for that. I am no longer alone! Much love, Vivi-Mari

(Photography by author, all rights reserved; "YESSS..! WHAT A GREAT PLACE TO...."