a journey into Matter...

I am giving you the story of myself, it is only the first part of the story that led me to this one, a virtual story of my soul's longing...for you, my family.....

I've spent this year on a roller-coaster to myself moving backwards in time to my beginning, to my own "Planck Barrier".

MY mother was the precocious child of a Viking, truly, my grandfather who was my "real " father was a Viking born in Tonsberg Norway- the last true home of Vikings in our world,son of a doctor, who only felt the sea call to him. He left at 16 on a whaling ship and sailed the world, until at 52, he arrived in Port Arthur , Tx where the Captain of the Port, my great-grandfather took an interesting, black haired blue-eyed Norwegian home for dinner; at that dinner, his 29 yr old daughter,Grace, a flapper, never going to marry, an independent woman, had dinner with Fate. ( It was Grace who gave me my love of mysteries and taught me fierce devotion to those I love)

My mother, at 18, met a painter, Fate took her to his home, Las Vegas, where his mother was the head of the dining room at the Thunderbird Hotel, he was commissioned to paint a mural ; I was born on the ides of May, between the first and second show,when the sky was illuminated periwinkle and the sky and the horizon seemed endless.

My birth father, felt the parameters of 50's fatherhood impossible, my mother returned me to the Viking and he taught me my first lessons. His lessons were as big as the world he'd lived for 30 plus years, the lessons he taught a small racist Texas town how to "live bigger" with kindness and heart. I never knew my birth father in this life, he was only the seed that allowed me to reconnect with my now father who raised me (there is only a difference of week in in their birthdays- Rob, birth father 04 Aug 1931 and Sev 28 July 1931)My grandfather was a learned and much traveled soul who died when I was 3,had been my teacher in many lifetimes and told me as such before he died.

After his death in 1959, I was raised by my stepfather, a devotedly dogmatic, Sicilian Catholic ( although in one regression I recognized him as my Rabbi father in around 12th c Arabia (time period look familiar?)who taught me much in way of Kabbalah and other Judaic Mysteries, but also told me I was to tell no one of my knowledge- I could 'pass it to my son')So consequently ,I spent my childhood knowing many things, but could not speak of them. I have studied since then in solitary since 12, I felt an overwhelming fear of those that called themselves "teachers". I grew up in a time of also,that I felt an overwhelming "spiritual egotism" in those who called themselves such that I, wholeheartedly, rejected.

In 1968, I began to see pattern of events in my life and where it had led me, from Texas, to Albuquerque'62-'64 where I first realized my star connection, falling up into the sky, to California Bay area- the first place I 'felt' I belonged, to Tallahassee,'65 (where my parents still reside)a strange little 'Capital' amidst amazing oaks, now I realize that although I rejected being there I think it triggered the Celtic/Atlantean/Stellar memories of my Goddess consecration, and made me begin to really remember. I studied astrology, did regressions, found my meditation on the seat of a bicycle, but also found myself bumping heads with those that when I would speak what I felt "truth" to be in our connections with other souls, I met fear and antagonism. I don't have a literary dyslexia, but a numerical one, which I think was my way of not being able to put myself back on the high-level, mathematically driven esoteric path. I did not want to fall back into that knowledge.

This year,I felt my life beginning, things I did not believe possible, always outside the norm, the psychic artist who also had a brain, left side fighting constantly with the right brain, I find the middle now, no more battle between sides there is a truce and a growing world that does not know how big it can actually become.I know that I have felt myself change from a cellular perspective almost daily. As I try explain to others what I feel occurring not only physically, but perceptually and emotionally they look at me like I'm nuts.
It has increased in intensity since my Chiron return 02/19/07 and that directly led me back to Match to the Animus Affair to my "stumble" onto this site. What I realize is this has been an on-going evolution since I was a child, but now I not afraid to speak what comes to me.

Many interestingly synchronistic events have occurred since I was in NYC for my big 50 in May'06. The astrological hooha going on was creating quite a beehive of STUFF( my chiron return 2/19/07@ 11' aq/opp moon11' leo/trine(exact)8'gem/ neptune parked on my mars and pluto trine pluto26'leo and the sun will spark my uranus again @28 cancer(exact)WHEW!!!....karmic uranian pinball!! I'm saddened by certain losses, but many other events have redirected my energies toward my real path.
My dad's last brother died the day before Father's day '06(my dad's the youngest of 7). I drove my parents to New Orleans (1st time there since I was 16 and my cousin, John snuck me into the Sanger Theater to see the premiere of M*A*S*H*!!) At the end of the trip my mother gave me several cassette tapes she had found in their house.......11/30/82 session w/ Shala Mattingly, same person I saw on 5/16/06 only 30 days before. I am part of a book she is writing on her 30 yrs doing regressions. { this session, I found myself in a Atlantean temple life where we healed with sound and light and eventually I became a teacher of children,guiding them to their higher purpose} I am trying to chronicle my past life memories, including those that have been spontaneous or in dreamspace. I was directed last year to re-read a book (last read in 1997), The Pleidian Workbook, by Amorah Quan Yin. That lead to Amazon to buy the other books written and to her website. (I had also studied Barbara Hand Clow since she began writing.At a very difficult time 02Aug 89 when pluto conj moon opp chiron I was told to call Barbara Hand Clow, she answered...it is no accident that the degree of my sun is 25 Taurus, the astronomical degree of Alcyone in the star group}I read about the Dolphin Star Temple mystery school
Amorah had begun in Mt.Shasta Ca...One of my many dreamspace messages this one back in '90 or '91 I was told it was now the time to re-establish the Temple of Hathor.I only knew of Hathor from Eygptology and before that in her energy in Catal Hayuk and that she corresponded with Taurus. I think you will find a surprising familiarity in the article on the mystery school, my memories of Sacred Geometry and lines of light are particularily strong of being a young man and part of another temple life. I felt to be a cog in a cosmic machine. Part of a ritual that entailed I think 8 other young men, we were placed on specific points around an equilateral triangle. I found myself linked to the others through my solar plexus with laser-like beams of lavender light. I could not move and I remember being very resentful that I was part of some type of religious machinations.

FYI interestingly my last side of my 05/16/07 session was inaudible...It was where I in spirit was speaking with Will after the Henrik/ Elisabetta life, (He was a rich wastrel/arranged marriage....after much indifferent abuse I stabbed him in the neck with a bread knife after he insulted to tears our maid Lucy and then quietly went upstairs, took my "tablets"and went to sleep.).I also feel that it was Copenhagen not Vienna as I first believed, because in another session in 2002, I found myself as a rich young Jewish girl from Brooklyn who died in the Spanish Influenza Epidemic in Vienna and had recognized Will as the young Doctor who was with me when I died. Also from the first session I feel that he was Naoim and that Ariel( my son) is most definitely Elohim and Will the Minstrel lover of the 16th century..... our journey together allowed me to atone for causing his death, but unfortunately, he is still a struggling wastrel...anyway I feel like I'm being accelerated into remembering who I am and what I'm to do and where.......there have been so many memories that are this soul's foundation and I welcome them all.

I cannot keep my mind, heart or mouth closed any longer. I am home.
Grow with me...grow with me and rest beside me after growing, be giddy and serious....and soar.
Blessed Be