on finetuning the psychic radio before Firing the Grid....

The energy of the last few days has been wreaking havoc on my body, I've had nausea, almost flu-like symptoms and overnight I gained 5 lbs!?!? I had never been 150lbs ever...not even 9 mos. pregnant... but I've never been vain about it or obsessive with my diet or dieting. I feel the energy pulsing and shifting my molecules. I have found the ascension symptoms of the last 7 months to be very intense for this earth girl- it's interesting tho that the only earth I have in my chart is my Sun and that is in the 5th, a fire house. I find the solar heat of change turning my body into a little inferno. At first I felt that it was perhaps the movement into being a Crone, it is in part, I'm sure, but I also believe that is my movement into being the Healer in practice that I've avoided the naming (not the doing of)...the advent of my Aquarius Chiron return which is natally is exactly opposite my Leo moon in the 8th had demanded that I pay attention to the alchemicalization of this aspect and transcend the intuitive healing into conscious active form.

Also my dreamspace, always extremely fertile and precognitve has been working overtime. Many stories that I've been given since Feb of '84 were from that space and as I revisit them I see that on high I've been going through my own (re)initiations back to my old knowledge. I'll put some of these stories on another time.

The other morning, prior to checking my e-mail I woke from a very disturbing and precognitive feeling dream. I was with a group of people in a small very old hotel that I knew to be overlooking San Francisco Bay. We were looking out at the bay thru large beautiful windows, the clerstory windows sparkling stained glass, the sunlight glistening of the deep blue of the bay. Suddenly a white hot blast and everything imploded the panes now were whirling scimitars of colored light slicing at everyone in the room, the beauty outside had turned to a murky dusty black darkness and that energy had me reeling. I, however was inside the energy almost in a timeless stillness while all around me was chaos and weeping and blood droplets floating in space. I watched the world trying to make sense of this cataclysm and I found myself formulating a plan of action that would rescue and heal.
I woke up very upset that I had only stood inside the pain and I felt there was going to be something very horrific happen to San Fran. Then I received e-mails ad nauseum on the call to cancel the grid. I let an old fear and guilt based on old lifetimes where I could do nothing to stop cataclysmic change cause a knee-jerk reaction. I had long subscribed to the belief that if I could think it , I could create it and had seen evidence of it throughout my life. I also had always believed how one correct action would shift all others. So why was I buying into this control/ paranoia?

This morning I sent this mail to my brother, Centreoflight:
All night long was lucid dreaming, I actively felt light work healing being done on other dimensional levels of which I consciously invited them to continue. Many colors of light in all forms. This has occurred before with one small?! difference at around 4:30or so AM Your face floated into the dreamspace much like the head of the Wizard of Oz (but much sweeter..lol) I then felt- not just mind-felt- this electrified blue-white (the closest I can describe it visually is like when you light a sparkler and the sparks are like a million grains of "light" rice) I felt the energy erupt from my heart chakra and cascade like a fountain of electrified water. What a lovely shivery experience, next I saw spinning like a Buzby Berkley musical from the '30's images ofa beautiful carpet of yellow geometric florals outlined in blue on a red field spinning like when I do spins in dancing dervish-like and you find a place "to spot" so's not to get dizzy.

Anyway after my light bath, dervish dance, ultimately I have decided that my heart and soul are not for sale to the highest bidder, the slickest spiritual sales pitch or the doomsday naysayers. I know that I will come from a pure heart,open mind and soul because all the million grains of light bathing our beloved Gaia can only inundate her with love as the Nile did the desert year after year offering rebirth, that is my highest trust.

It is interesting when you think of interpretation of psychic info , because what my initial reaction of horror may not be that. It was the same when I knew I'd have a son, who would be called Ariel, and I knew he was Aquarian tho the midwife said I be lucky to make it to the beginning of Jan , but I knew 2/5 , I was only wrong in that what I thought to be 5 Feb was really 25 Jan and on that day my beautiful Ariel (Hebrew for 'lion of God' and one of the moons of Uranus) was born shortly after I declared watching the Dr.Who movie" The Daleks invade Planet Earth in 2027 to be " this is the stupidest idea I've ever heard!".....now I receive mails likening the fearmongers of the Grid to the Daleks and I had to laugh...he was born 5 minutes before the Leo full moon.

I guess the long and short of what I now feel the dream to be was that many will not understand what occurs, but we must move inside those whirling scimitars, beautiful rainbow arcs and send them out to those who only see misery, anger, dismay... "I can sing a Rainbow..."

Alright enough rambling.
Love and light