Ready for a little brutal honesty? It's good for the soul, you know. We're all here to become brighter and happier, and sometimes that requires a bit of uncomfortable self-examination. I'll speak only of myself, because that's all I really can say. I'm not here to preach, but I do have passionate feelings about lightwork and sometimes they come out.

For years I maintained a number of so-called good intentions. I found out that all of my intentions were false. I intended to write a novel. False. I intended to become financially independent. False. I intended to atttain out-of-body states in meditation. False.

All I ever really intended to do was to remain as I was and expect everyone else to be okay with that.

I'm not beating myself up about it. I'm just being an honest observer. Here's how I know my intentions were false: I had plenty of time and opportunity to do all those things, and I did none of them.

Have you ever known someone who moans and complains that his/her life is not complete and satisfying in some way, and then gets mad or defensive if you try to encourage him/her by offering help? I was like that. I wanted things to stay the way they were. My intention was my substitute for action and my excuse for inaction. I became furious if anyone dared to question my intention!

The year that he was named as the world's richest man, Bill Gates was asked in an interview why he still gets up in the morning, puts on a suit and tie, and goes to work. He said, "It's not about money. It was never about money. Money is just how you keep score."

Keeping score. Playing for the sake of the game, not for its rewards. Now that's an interesting idea. I'm a big fan of Tiger Woods. I sincerely believe that if he were stripped of all his money and never allowed to play professionally again, he would still be on the golf course every day, putting his whole being into every shot. If I loved meditation as much as he loves golf, I wonder where I would be by now.

Intentions are pretensions. There is action and inaction, and nothing else.

Swami Sivananda once wrote regarding spiritual practices, "Do what you don't want to do." If that sounds a little like your mother telling you to be nice to people and turn in your homework, well, maybe she was right. Actions count, and nothing else matters.

In the few years I have left to live, I'm determined to throw out all my useless intentions and put actions in place. To give you some perspective, I work a twelve-hour day, get home at 1 AM, take a shower and go straight to a two-hour meditation with my group, every night. I have maybe three meditations a month that are really enjoyable and uplifting. The rest of the time I'm focused on sitting still when my legs are killing me, keeping quiet when I want to sneeze or cough, and staying awake when I just want to fall over on the floor. So what's the point, or perhaps I should say, what's the score?

I do it because even in my extremely uncomfortable moments, I can still feel the light pouring through me. I believe that the light we channel is the only thing defending the Earth against the darkness that seeks to destroy us all. I'm not meditating to feel good. That's nice when it happens, but I gave up peak experiences, quick fixes and instant highs a long time ago. And I meditate because I believe that the ascension of humanity is not a free ride. The great ones, the multidimensional ones, are there, showering us with unbelievable power and light. The question is what effort will we make to receive it fully?

They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I don't know if that's true or not, but there's too much at stake to play lightly in these days. I'm with Bill and Tiger. I want to win this game, and that requires action and performance, not intention.

Peace to all,
Mike