I am confused.

Most of the best friends I have (99.9%) are far away from where I am. Since I came back to hometown I lost connection with them except for one. I believe most of them if not all, are lightworkers. Some moved to other countries or other states or some remained where we met.

With some of them, there was a lot of karma involved, and these months I worked out on it and I believe some of them already cleared that karma too. When I left, as I said before on a previous post, some of them were very judgemental, some others were very supportive of my decisions, and some others were excited because I told them I would move to another city and find something to do, which has not happened yet, or maybe won't happen.

I decided to come back and move on. Start fresh. Forget about the past and if possible, meet new people. The only new people I've met are you. Thanks God I found this site, otherwise...don't know.

The thing is, in order to cut many cords, I no longer connect to msn messenger and closed my facebook account a few months ago. The main reason is that, eventhough there is a very high prbability that they are lightworkers just like me, I can't share my spiritual path with them. The great mayority has a successful 3rd dimensional life, and that didn't work for me. They don't like ET's, they are not very much into spirituality and one of my closest friends don't even beieve in God.

Months ago I wrote emails to some and didn't reply, which I thought was fine because I no longer feel I can talk with them. I don't have much to share with them at this moment because I know they would not understand my path. For me, that life I shared with them is more than over, even though I believe I may see them again in the future.

The thing is that days ago I recieved an email from one of them and I felt very sad. I didn't know what to say. I wrote a short email back. Today, I recieved another email from another friend, and wrote too a very short answer. Some friends asked before why I closed my accounts. I went to visit them in July because I wanted to celebrate my 24th birthday, but truly, I felt it was more like a farewell party because I feel our relationship just can't work at this time. I wouldn't want to create more karma and communication is just too difficult for me. I miss them so much, but at the same time there are so many things I don't miss about my old life.

I thought my friends didn't miss me anymore because they moved on. They are not aware of what is happening, they are still dormant, but I must confess I've cried a lot these days because sometimes I wish I could just forget everything and just start a new life. But you know ascension is about staying still, being patient and wait for changes to manifest.

There is not much I can do here to distract myself or meet new people. Except here.

I feel I can't cut those connections with my old friends because they are very much like me. I always felt I had a deep connection with some people. But I really FEEL it is not time to communicate with them yet. It makes me feel so sad to know I don't have much to share with them, whenever they write to me. I don't like to lie and make up things just to maintain a conversation. I already left old resentments and judgements. They taught me in the end the light and the dark aspects of myself. I feel I integrated so many aspects these months. I accepted so many things...and the result is that I love them, after all.

Also, there are times when I just want to forget because I don't know if I am going to see them again, even if I believe there is a possibility. I don't want to expect anything. I just want to stay in the NOW, but sometimes the NOW brings loneliness.