more fintuning, dealing with the buzz....

This ascension stuff is pretty intense,interesting but whew!!!!! It's funny last night at a friend's welcome back BBQ someone asked me my religious persuasion and out popped "zen crone'"..? followed by "alchemical ecologist". I think toooo much red wine was involved. It's becoming increasingly harder to be out and about and having inane conversation whether with my clients or socially.Arcane stuff has always popped out of my mouth my entire life, spawned interesting experiences along the way, but I think I'm at the proverbial crossroads and waiting for Godot. I am feeling like a foreign being here, my ability to self-censor( never my highest faculty, btw) is a too tight pair of shoes and my toes need wiggling. But I've also never been hippie-dippie, even in my younger days when it was the real deal not the currently recycled version. I think even then I sensed the neptunian quagmire of high thoughts and "high behavior".
Esoteric, yes, escapist, no. I had a migraine so severe on Friday that vertigo had me throwing up so violently I developed little 'blood' freckles beneath my eye sockets. The air here has been horrific too. Before my head exploded I'd gone to the Preserve that I've posted pics of, I had been inside most of the last week as the air got superheated and smoggy but I reaalllly NEEDED to be in nature. Everything there felt weirdly crystaline and I couldn't focus. I kept walking , got to the granite outcropping, I needed to sit down, but when I did the energy of the rock almost knocked me over. I kept walking thinking the nausea would pass if I got deeper in the shade. Basically it escalated and I barely made it home before my cranial explosion.

I wrote this last night:

Buzz
Too much buzz,
a beehive of inanity,head hurts.
How do you find equilibrium
when this buzz gives vertigo?
Dimensional shifts,
three to five to nine to...?
Alchemical plate techtonics
as I stretch, outgrow the
boundaries set by others.
Others known, but not known
speak a language indistinct.
Subliminal shifts in perception,
a new language,
an alchemical Berlitz School.
Do I place this new dialect beneath
my pillow, psychic osmosis?
Do I dream a language into being?
Do I wake to a fly's eye?
I am awake.