I've been looking around at my friends and familys ways that they make themselves happy.
There is so may quick fixes that we have been taught are the ways to make yourself feel better.
I'm going to list off a few common techniques, and their flaws
1. Chocolate/Food in general
Of course the easiest way to calm yourself and feel better is a nice peice of chocolate, I'm sure many people can connect with it.
But where does the line draw when we come to feeling happy? What if one peice/bar doesn't work, we eat more and more.
It's a vicious cycle, you eat to feel happy, then you gain weight. You are bombarded with images of skinny happy people and decide that to be happy, i must be skinny.
You try diet, but it makes you miserable. You eat more chocolate/food. You gain more weight.
Eventually you get to the point of misery where you think happiness isn't attainable anymore.
But it's all in the mind.
How many of you know someone like this? overweight, but constantly upset over their condition, and have severe mood swings?
It's more common than you realise, but once we realise that food is not a doorway to hapiness, we can win this battle.
The most common drug in the world!
What does alchohol do to you? It numbs your ego, makes you become happy and you go around hugging everyone!
Why is this? Is it because your concious mind is sent to sleep, while the real you comes out?
Why is it that people say such harsh things when drunk, do you honestly think the excuse of "sorry I was drunk" is real?
The fact that they are without fear, without worry, without pain they release some things which they have been dying to let out!
But then alcohol leads to dependancy, because you begin to think that the only way you can "let go" on the weekends is to have a pint, or a glass of wine.
Why is this? We are manipulated from every angle, of people having fun while drunk. TV is drowned in these images, so again you try a quick fix for hapiness and it doesn't work.
Every morning, my mother claims she has to start her day on a happy note.
She has to watch either Fraiser, Scrubs, or another comdey show.
I asked her one day, does watching tv make you happy, and she said yes.
I asked her seperately the next day, are you happy and she said no.
What is this compulsion to spend hours laughing at someone elses life? When we can make our own hapiness. The hapiness we get out of tv is funny,and causes a few laughs and there is no problem with that. But where does it become fraiser, then scrubs, have a cup of tea, then watch king of queens, anothr episode of scrubs, then possibly the news, then something happy to make up for the news.
It comes to the point where we fill our entire day, because once we come back to the reality of our own lives, we realise, wait...I'm not happy.
But instead of changing it, we go back and we change the station.
I'm house sitting at the moment, and the woman who owned the house doesn't have a tv.
At first I though "what am I going ot do!"
I'm now a month without TV and I've never had a boring moment. There is always something to do, cleaning, walking the dog, meditating, reading.
So I've pulled myself away from these means of "hapiness".
Now If I feel sad, I will explore the reason. I will think of a solution. If I have no solution, I go for a walk. Even on days when I have so much to worry about, I feel fake using any of these "relaxing" ways to be happy. Its like it doesnt work anymore, I see through what this fake hapiness is, and get knee deep in solving my problems, because at the end of the day, i've spent enough time being miserable.
I want hapiness, and I'm going to get off my bum and work towards it. Enough of the whining, and saying it's "not fair".
I am the change, and I've already started feeling better about myself.
I've sucessfully given up chocolate, cigarettes, given up alchohol, and TV and I have to admit I don't feel like I'm missing out.
I feel like I've finally begun to see reality for what it really is, instead of just diluting reality so I can live a mediocre existance.
And I don't see it as hard, because I've seen through what they do, I see through what really makes me happy.
So whats your quick fix? and does it really help you, and for how long?
Congrats On Giving Up All
August 6, 2010, 9:14 pm
Congrats on giving up all those addictive things.
You are so young and figured that one out, well done!!!!
I don't have a quick fix because I never smoked or drunk alcohol, never owned a T.V. and eat very little but the way I figured out how to be happy is by doing things that make me happy (like smelling roses while on my way to work or smiling and saying hello to a stranger, etc etc and never to expect anything. The moment you expect, you'll be disappointed and ultimately unhappy.
Let me share something with you: My mum is usually disappointed because she is always expecting things from others. I had a conversation once with her about this to tell her that she is creating her own disappointment by waiting to see if somebody would do her some favour, or return the help she has given to someone, etc.
An example of this: She sometimes drives to the supermarket and takes the neighbour with her too because her neighbour friend doesn't drive. The day after my mum helped the neighbour with her shopping my mum asked her if she could take the postman's delivery because my mum wasn't going to be home, as you can guess the neighbour said no. My mum was so disappointed and was complaining about it.
The better way to go through life is not to expect anything in return and you'll be a much happier person and surprised and delighted when someone actually does you a favour.