| VestaAhRu | 
Offline
Believing is seeing
Female - 31
Altoona, PA -USA
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 VestaAhRu`s Blog
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I am a walk-in.
It is hard for me to truly explain myself. It’s difficult to associate myself with the person I was or should I say the former occupant of this body. I am nothing like her. Her memories are like watching a movie. I have no emotional connection to them. It’s the same with the people that were in her life. I have no real connection with my earth parents. I often wonder if they still see their child or deep down they know she’s not here anymore. I don’t have many memories of my former inhabitant’s childhood, most of them have disappeared and it didn’t dawn on me of this until I watched home movies and couldn’t recall any of these experiences.
From my viewpoint, I awoke in a hospital doped up on morphine with a very large incision in my stomach in February 2002 from having a bowel resection. That time was pretty fuzzy but I remember feeling very lonely. The physical pain was excruciating and it was the only thing I could focus on really. Five days later, I was ‘home’ with my boyfriend and our daughter. To make a very, very long story short, it took me a year to try to fit in to this new life. I didn’t get along with my boyfriend during this time. And the hardest thing to admit was that I had a hard time taking responsibility for a baby that I felt no connection to. I literally had to relearn my job, I had no clue what I was doing. And to top it all off, I became empathic and had to learn and harness that ability before I walked myself into a mental hospital.
For two years after this, I became a sponge. I read everything I could get my hands on. All I wanted was knowledge and understanding. What I think is kinda funny is that out of all that reading I did, not much stuck. But I understand that what is relevant does stick.
2006 was a new beginning for me. I started getting bits and pieces of information of who I truly was. It was like a jigsaw puzzle, which still isn’t finished. So from then on, it was all about self-discovery. Who am I? Why am I here? What’s my purpose? I learned a lot since then. Some questions have yet to be answered but in time, they will be. I am currently on stand-by right now. There’s a mission I’m on and I’m just waiting. Don’t ask me about my mission, because I really don’t know. There’s an internal clock ticking down inside of me and when the buzzer goes off, it’s gonna hit me like a ton of bricks.
The hardest thing for me while I’m waiting is trying to fit in. I often feel awkward in my body, like I expand beyond it. I find that I turn a lot of people off. It has been explained to me that I scare and intimidate people. But then there are some people that become completely obsessed with me. I just find it odd that there’s no in-between. You either love me or hate me, I guess. And I’m not a loud, in your face type of person that would make someone not like me. I’m quiet, I keep to myself, but if asked, I'm an open book. This aspect makes me feel very lonely, unable to really connect with people. But I am here, regardless of how I really feel about that.
| | Spiritual Path |
Seeker and protector
| | Creating |
Unity and acceptance is of the utmost importancy to me.
| | Awakening |
In 2002, I walked-in.
| | Interests |
Metaphysics, healing, knowledge of other beings
| | Recommended Reading |
| | Personals |
| Status: | In relationship |
| Hometown: | |
| Star Sign: | Capricorn |
| Occupation: | |
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