Dear Jyothi
I broke down on the floor today crying and shaking saying “it hurts so much my muscles it just won’t stop make it stop it hurts so much”. Brightest one I hardly ever in my life cry like that in front of my loved ones or anyone. My wife is an angel saying it’s going to be ok were get help for you. They can’t watch me crying I never do that where they can see.
Everything hurts (mind/body/soul/and most of all my Hearts) I feel sad. I have been take crystal meth to stop the pain of the opiates withdrawn away. It’s like kicking heroin. Crying in front of others is something only massive amounts of pain can bring out. They brought me something to make the pain stop and my angel wife to planning out some consoling for me.
It’s to much pain. I’ve gone to far I can’t just stop like I thought I could. The body I’m using is hooked.
Now I’m getting or Feeling a little fearful. The angels just say do what you need to but take the help the people that love you are give. The God just say’s I understand matthew with the big heart.
I feel so loved by the heavens to. I don’t understand why everyone loves me so much. I got a channeled message by a light worker saying I killed myself in a past like and I have to deal with it now.
If you like to do a reading ?
I have 3 step kids one of which won’t talk to me till I clean up and I sorely wish she would forgive me. They come on the weekends
Little Matthew saying it’s just my body hurting from the withdraw. He likes it when we just sit together in our heart. I told little matthew I’d never leave him again. Thank for helping me find him.
I pray for your little star, your right I see a little of me in him and he won’t do drugs the way I did just to feel normal enough to be around other people .
I so tried brightest one I must rest
I love you all with all the light
Matthew

Dear One
I AM glad you CRY... you held all that inside and now I hold that place in LOVE for you to let it out... and what remains will be YOU after all that tears/clouds rain down... hmm.. Congratulations... I SEE you on The TRACK in this Journey...
I would LOVE you to KNOW these Matthew:
1. Dont tell yourself you are not AWAKE... you are AWAKE from a deep SLEEP... and you do not KNOW what is going on, as you are still in your hangover... but slowly you are BECOMING AWARE... as minutes/days go past you will become more and more aware... this is very important that you get this...
2. where you differ from others is here: you are ONLY A JUDGMENT away from YOU and so you dont look... you think YOU are unhealthy, worthless, in pain etc... you have to clearly remove THE YOU out of all these and say I FEEL sad, I feel hungry, I feel pain, I FEEL .../ ... /... that will help you SEE THE YOU is never subject to any of these and your way out as you got down and bogged down is to get back up to THE YOU, THE LIGHT... Hook up with that and let the pain be felt and not be identified with...
and why does every-ONE LOVE you so much; because
1. you are LOVE,
2. you are LOVABLE;
3. you help us practice LOVE and thus healing in our hearts... do YOU SEE?
about your Birth-date - here is what I SEE as who you are and your possibilities to understand your energy imprint at that time you entered EARTH mother and your mother's womb...
having only 1-4-7 in the blue print, you are DOWN TO EARTH... good, but you dont have it in you to help you out unless someone helps... as 2,3,5,6,and 8 are missing from your blue print... yet, as you say you killed you in a parallel life, then you are to GROUND here and not leave; is it not? So your imprint is just right for you...
the birth-date shows 14 and hence you are subject to immense CHANGE and when you realize YOU are the CHANGE, then you are GROUNDED in LIFE... I would love you to SEE the GIFT in all these and hence I AM bringing You back unto YOU to LOVE and CHERISH...
the three 1s can make you at times go mad at others or get int fights/sarcasm... which people may remember and wont come near you if they are hurting... you have no difficulty emoting, but it is your choice to not seek that help in LOVE, this has NOW changed due to your PURE INTENT choice... well done... the two 7s are making you be drawn to occult/magic/and all deep stuff of life... the 4 makes you HUMBLE and yet most wonderful number to connect with GAIA, EARTH MOTHER... go fall on her body and cry and she will wake up within YOU... talk to her and cry to her and feel ONE with her and in that you will find YOU, too...
the total of all these is your LIFE PATH = 3 = YOU ARE A SUPER CATALYST to SPIRITUAL AWAKENING... in you and in others... use that 3rd language of LOVE and third point of MIDDLE PATH between this and that/duality...all that to YOU first, because in your E-M-E-R-G-E-N-C-E, YOU are your OWN EMERGENCY at PRESENT... before you can LOVE anyone else...
I knew that about your wife that she is that way and you need her NOW and forever you will, but do not depend on her to make her feel heavy/weighed down; we girls take too much from men; so create a inter-dependent life together... you radiate you and give that out to her and she radiates her to you that you find the missing part of you in, and that is MALE-FEMALE in COMPLEMENT, Dear ONE...
Give you wife my LOVE and tell that sister she is to me, that I LOVE HER DEARLY for who she is... for holding that LOVE for YOU... with all of that you will be okay...
do you think you need to talk to some counselors to get some help with that withdrawals??
considering some possibilities? I KNOW you cannot withdraw at once... your body will go into difficulty, Dear ONE... Oh GOD, I wish I knew something to help you with that; but I dont, Dear ONE... please seek some help; wont you??
It is okay to feel this FEAR... this is only FEAR of the UNKNOWN... you will KNOW the TRUE YOU soon...this is healthy fear when you are running into YOU...
give your gratitude to your wife, for being herself... let her KNOW that I LOVE HER too...
she needs strength to see you through and not feel wobbling when you are in pain... I HOLD her IN THE PUREST OF LIGHT as she does this and I hold you inthe PUREST of LIGHT while you deal with YOU too, Dear ONE...
I will show my son what you wrote to us... he will be glad to know you are SEEING... he likes people to admit and be honest to their TRUTH of what they are truly doing to CONTAMINATE and thus negatively contribute tot heir LIFE.. he is like his mother in that too... his heart was upset to know you had chosen this path... yet, he knew his mother would let you know what you needed to KNOW with LOVE...
Wonderful of how you communicate with Little Matthew NOW...
the whole world can abandon him, but if YOU do, then he is NOT...
I congratulate you with the whole of my being-ness on what you have decided to do for your LIFE...
that you will not run away from you...
I LOVE YOU and YOUR beautifully HEARTED wife that I LOVE the PUREST LIGHT for YOU BOTH...
do you KNOW my SON cries? even now and I let him by holding him; do you KNOW how many times I had to step in and hurt others to tell them off and remove them off his path to let him cry?? I WILL PROTECT my SON and his HEART; he used to hold his both palms across his heart and used to say it hurts mommy... yesterday I told him that I have not seen that for few months now.. and I cheered him on... I always make sure I give him feedback to help him KNOW how he is changing and how it is most beautiful...
3 step kids? beautiful...
Matthew, I AM not normal at all... what is NORMAL? sleepers!! ARE you a SLEEPER? NO... you are only becoming more AWARE... dont compare you tot he normalcy in this world, Dear ONE...
start drinking plenty of water and not any soft drinks... dont run to mac.... but make some salad home and eat... find your HOUSE to be a HOME by putting your HEART therein, Matthew; I KNOW you can, but you are getting there is what you SEE... and that is okay; the FIRST PRIORITY NOW is YOU, okay??
Let me know how you do...
I AM here always and with YOU too...
time is 3:00 PM...
hmm... wondering??
LOVING YOU DEARLY,
I AM LOVE,
Jyothi