~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Welcome Fellow Lightworkers~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~An exerpt from The Tibetan Art of Serenity by Christopher Hansard~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Misunderstanding Loneliness~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~Loneliness can be made more intense by the way you talk to yourself about it. There are
misconceptions about loneliness, which many people believe and repeat to themselves, reinforcing
their unhappy messages. These include the belief that loneliness is a sign of weakness or
immaturity or that there's something 'wrong' with you if you are lonely.

Many people believe that no one else feels the way they do, that everyone else in the world is
out enjoying great relationships and effortless contact with others. Needless to say, none of
these misconceptions is true. But if you believe any of them, then you may feel that your
loneliness results from a defect in your personality. And when you allow yourself to believe
this, it can lead to problems which include:

* A greater fear of taking social risks, such as making phone calls to initiate
social contact, introducing yourself to others, participating in groups of any kind,
from reading circles to parties.
* A lessening in self-expression and responsiveness to others.
* A greater tendency to approach social encounters with cynicism and mistrust.
* An increased likelihood of evaluating yourself and others in negative terms.
* A greater expectation that others will reject you.

Lonely people often tell me that they feel depressed, angry, afraid and misunderstood.
Many are highly critical of themselves, overly sensitive or self-pitying, and they are often
critical and blaming of others too. The result of this is that lonely people often begin doing
things that perpetuate their loneliness. Some, for example, become discouraged, losing the
impetus to get involved in new situations, and isolating themselves from people and activities.
Others deal with loneliness by becoming involved too quickly and deeply with people and activities.
Without evaluating the consequences of their involvement, they may later find themselves in
unsatisfactory relationships or over-committed to work or study.

The alternative to viewing loneliness as something bad, a defect or an unalterable personality
characteristic is to recognise that it is common to many people in all sectors of society.
Loneliness is simply a signal that important needs are going unmet and that action is needed.

Posted with love and compassion, Tara ~~