I have been in this phase of cleansing and purification of my energies for so long now that I don't remember the last time I felt myself to be in a high vibrational state with an open heart. I just seem to be in the trenches constantly clearing out all the sludge at the bottom of the pond. I am beginning to feel "Lightworker low esteem", that I am not doing a good enough job of transmutting all this goblygook to Light, especially when I read channelings about all the wonderful glorious high frequency energies being poured down upon us. But on the other hand, it's understandable given where I started, kind of like a grade school child who has to do major "catch up" to get into 'Ascension University' with all the other high school seniors. In any event, I seem to have "special education" mentors from the higher realms that seem to be around me much of the time. Often, I close my eyes and go into my inner space and receive sacred geometry activations that are quite spectacular, beyond any pyrotechnic light show in 3D.
So day after day I just keep clearing but get frustrated, kind of like a guy who's in a boat and he's bailing water to keep the boat from sinking but he'd save a lot of time if he just plugged up the hole in the boat. Once I had a channeled being named "Bartholomew" say something very profound to me: You can keep shoveling out the darkness from now to eternity. It's much faster just to open a window and let in the Light. For some reason, my "stuff" feels so heavy that I don't trust opening a window is going to make it go away. I have to blast the sludge out with the "Cosmic Blaster, Dissolver, Transmuter" or "Divine Roto-Rooter" (the turbo version of the Violet Flame). I make up all kinds of "fires" in various colors, fires of purification, dissolution, transmutation, unification and transcendence, whatever I think will get the sludge out of my chakras and subtle bodies and limbic system/ Reptillian brain. And I go around my apartment screaming out all of these invokations that I sort of made up, (like a Lightworker who "shoots from the hip") for hours, just to keep myself from getting sucked into self-contraction (a very core tendency of mine). I will do this day in and day out yet the boat seems to keep filling up so where's the leak??? I sometimes yell at the heavens and say "Will somebody up there let me know if any of this is working???".
I also use the visualization of my being the captain of a crystaline electromagnetic multi-dimensional star ship. I have been knocked unconscious for 52 years by about 100 2X4's to the head (i.e. my childhood) and now I see no one has been at the helm all this time. The ship is floating around aimlessly in the heavens, getting sucked into other star ships gravitational pulls, jerked around in every direction, getting hit by meteors, with a huge rupture in the electromagnetic hull that is sucking in all kinds of nuclear exhaust from other star ships (i.e. all the projection of other people's judgments and opionions that I introject into my sacral chakra and fear, guilt, and shame). Not only that, but there's a whole party of strangers, imposters, bully's, victimizers, critics, judges, back-seat drivers that are having a party on the ship that snuck in while I was unconscious and I have to do some major "taking out of the garbage" to get things back in order. I am the only one who is supposed to steer this ship. NO ONE, either physical or non-physical (this goes for Ascended Masters as well)is supposed to man the helm of the ship but my own Self. I am the only Authority on this ship. The destiny of this ship in solely in my hands.
So enough said. I still feel like I'm in grade school as a Lightworker, still playing with play-do and coloring with crayonns.
August 12, 2010, 10:18 pm
Great blog, a joy to read. Don't even worry about 'catching up'
that isn't how it works. You've got your own personal blueprint
calling the shots. I gotta say one thing for ya...you are doing
a fantastic job of 'working' your path. Heck, I wish I had
thought of some of those great tools you have invented for yourself.
I had to do it the hard way with Dark Night of the Soul. Seems
to me you've chosen a route that's a whole lot more fun and waaay
Keep on keeping on
I'm In The Same
August 12, 2010, 7:40 pm
I'm in the same boat, The minute I feel like I've gotten over a new bridge, there is a new river to cross.
I try all kinds of cleansing, protection and such and sometimes you gotta go a bit easier on yourself.
I once had the holy mother say to me how I look onmyself as flawed to constantly fix something, and she said you are beautiful the way you are, it is astonishing to reach your level in a world so filled with troubles.
Being completely clear at this moment isnt possible. As the world slowly changes, things will get easier for people like us.
It's not always inside, but look around you and see your enviroment.
See you job, and your feelings on "working" 9-5
Look around and see how others treat each other
Look around and see how people judge, all over the tv. diving the masses and making us miserable at each other
Sometimes we have to help cure the world around us, before we can find peace within,
Those days where I just can't manage to clear the sludge, I try help someone instead and it makes me feel even better and the sludge is a little easier to lift afterwords.
August 12, 2010, 7:33 pm
Resist the urge to compare your frequency level to that of a given point or goal. Our journey is one of continual growth, not getting to 5D or whatever given level we consider to be lofty.
Appreciate the progress you’ve made. It is likely substantial. Know you will get where you want to go energetically. Give your self lots of credit for what you’ve learned.
5D is often discussed as if we’ve ascended when we reach it, but this is really just the beginning of ascension. Even when we get to 5D we will still be in energetic grade school & not even half way to 12D. That is OK. There are valuable lessons to be learned in EVERY dimensional level including 3D.
Take the pressure off & don’t feel as if you have to work at it so hard. We often accomplish much more by gently aligning our energies than pushing them too hard. Regularly practice completely immersing your self in the delight of extreme joy. Whatever brings you real joy. The less this has to do w/ serious energetic work, the better. This BEing fully in the moment & finding delight in life’s silly little joys is a really important energetic skill.
There was allot of truth in what Bartholomew said.
Trust, Trust, Trust your own energies, including your earthly ones!
But They All Grow Old
August 12, 2010, 7:04 pm
1000's upon 1000's of em
from guru's, sungazing masters, religous figures,
newagers, spiritual healers, the maya's and all
other cultures, scientists, alternitive medic,s
dr's, health nuts, farmers, every day people
on and on and on and on and on it goes
basic same lines being pumped out over and over
again but i am yet to meet someone that truly
knows, i've read.... the list far to great to spend
the days typing them all out, i've meet...once
again the list to great.....
the motto i go by now, is if they're growing old
and vigour does not abound
they're, not there yet. i guess i come on this
sight to browse and see if their's anyone there yet.
but same ole same, then i get myself into mischief
when ya first get the thirst for search, if you were
to do everything you came across cause ya getting
excited with the new venture, eventually overwhelming
feelings haunt ya days, you eventually resort back to
simplicity, but only through the search and the daunt
the expression and depression of it all will you find
the pure simplistic life, cares and worries dissipate.
Well Dear Brother ~
August 12, 2010, 6:50 pm
well Dear Brother ~ ♥
hmmm... remember the book in the 70's (I think) .... ****Everything I Ever Needed to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten****? bout sums up working in our Light!
All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten
- by Robert Fulghum
Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in Kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandbox at nursery school.
These are the things I learned: Share everything. Play fair. Don't hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don't take things that aren't yours. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work some every day.
Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands, and stick together. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the plastic cup. The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the plastic cup - they all die. So do we.
And then remember the book about Dick and Jane and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: LOOK . Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation, ecology and politics and sane living.
Think of what a better world it would be if we all - the whole world - had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or if we had a basic policy in our nation and other nations to always put things back where we found them and clean up our own messes. And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.
Every Moment is Divine ~ BE KIND to YOU ~ Surrender and Allow the Universe to UNFOLD its Magnificence before you, I promise, You will not be disappointed!! ♥
and Travis sometimes you just need ~ cookies, milk, blankies and a nap ... sounds pretty Divine ~ we are all graduating from Kindergarten LightWork ~ ;o)
Travis You Are Cracking
August 12, 2010, 5:25 pm
Travis you are cracking me up!!!
Sounds like you are having too much fun in your holodeck of tranmuting and blasting with your "Cosmic Blaster, Dissolver, Transmuter" or "Divine Roto-Rooter" super sonic violet flame ...heeeheee!
Got visions of lazer tag in my head!
You are so right you are the authority of your vessel, you are at the helm, and if it feels too dark, too much like the balance is off....try opening the window, let the light in, listen to Bart... the supporting energies are here to help.
Infinite love dearest brother....OMni