I was standing in line to get coffee and behind me was a tallish blond boy - probably about 5'9" and 16 yrs old. I had seen him walk up from the parking lot. He was mostly limbs, long lanky with the spattering of acne on his face. He was listening to his Ipod or some other electric gadget trying hard to NOT be noticed. I didn't see anything unusual in his appearance, except for his hunched over persona. Immediatley, my heart went out to him - he had the energy of wanting to disappear - and I was soon to find out why.
As I stood in line for coffee, the bittersweet aroma of java beans and expectant youth perfume filled the air. The high energy of emotions tempered with boy/girl crushes. I heard the lanky boy behind me say something - "You're finally here" and the reply, a girl's voice - "Yeah sorry, there was a car wreck in front of me on my way to school."
He replied, with no accusation, but a definitive, 'I feel sorry for myself' attitude, "I had to walk here by myself - I felt like such a loser." The girl started talking about the car crash not really elaborating on what her friend had said. He then said "I had to walk BY the freshman and they were whispering. Jordan was there with her friends and she kept looking at me."
The girl laughed and said "It doesn't matter what they think of you."
"No, but I felt like such a freak."
She just laughed again. "It was such a nightmare getting here."
Our perceived realities are so dependent on how we see those around us. The boy's very honest feelings about his inadequacies, the girl had honest feelings about being behind the 'stupid people who got into a car wreck.'
We 'believe' these things about the freshman girl that 'giggles' about them - 'the stupid person' who delays our trip - our perceptions/thoughts actually 'enhance' the experience, not just for ourselves but for others. Most lightworkers strive not to fall into these judgments such as these individuals experience, because it is often perceived as judgmental and emotionally charged in a darker way, but is so absolutely human. I could go into a long tirade about how these people are so clueless about their environment and it's all so petty, but there's the root of the issue - if I do this, I just feed the energy. Do I think these thoughts? Yes, I do. Do I 'back away' from these thoughts, usually. In fact, I am genuinely beginning to redefine them...
the whole adage of 'walk a mile in my shoes' and you begin to really understand 'why' (you may not agree with it) the lanky boy is so upset and has labeled himself a freak - probably somewhat to elicit the sympathy from his female friend. Why the girl sees the car wreck as an 'inconvenience' to her day - not that anyone wasn't hurt - i.e. I didn't hear the "no one was hurt" question during the conversation, probably because she assumed that it was self-evident after all 'she was there to witness it.'
Being a teenager is tough even in the United States, and I believe one of the reasons it's so tough is in fact the energy of "It's all about me and my problems" (I've actually seen some of this energy in people from all around the world (Chinese, Indian, European (including East/West)- some more than others but the focus on 'me' getting a boy/girl, 'me' being part of the group, 'me' being my own person, has a stereotypical reality) - but this teenage energy isn't just for teenagers - it's an energy in our communities... and I 'feel' the need to embrace it as part of the energy of our universe. There is a growing up which is part of working through this 'meism' - to break away and see the larger picture of 'everyone' requires a responsibility of 'who' we are as physical beings, but also as soul beings. I have found it's incredibly freeing to move beyond the 'me' to something larger.
Do no harm...