by yarraman

November 13, 2012, Comments(1)

Gotta love it when a plan comes together. Happened for me yesterday, with my occupy this energy plan. I spose
I was feeling a bit grumpy and contrary in the first place, not only because of the yucky energy, but because the
headaches are back with a whole buncha new 'pain assistants'. I was feeling combative anyway, so fighting it out
with unpleasant energies felt exactly right. I felt like being mean and pigheaded and pushy, so I focused alla
that on the recent unpleasantness, and it went away. I'm not sure exactly WHEN it went away...I just know when
I woke up this morning it was gone...and that was a huge relief. I even got angry. Been awhile since I was angry.
Don't like it much. Anger feels yucky in every cell these days, doesn't it? Then, when you've done your anger
thing, ya just feel bad about in afterward anyway, so it's really not worth the bother. Strange how our reactions
to things have changed isn't it? I mean in the past when we got angry about something we sorta nurtured that anger
inside ourselves somewhere...kinda inflated it and made it more important than it actually was. We even carried it
around for awhile, sometimes hours, sometimes days. Gotta wonder how we did that now. I mean angry just feels bad.
Kinda makes ya wonder doesn't it? I mean why so many of us felt angry at so much stuff, and in the end we probably
did more harm to ourselves than whomever or whatever triggered that anger in the first place. Everything sorta
changed when it stopped being important to 'be right'.

What I did was just see myself standing smack in the center of that ugly energy and having a sorta energetic tug 'o
war, or something along those lines. I just barged myself right into the space and 'called the energy out'. Come
on, you got something for me? Bring it on! And then just stood there being stubbornly in positive energy and outlook,
and eventually my energy just sorta 'took over' the space and the yucky stuff shrunk down and down, until today it's
just plain gone. Now I kinda like the idea that I 'did battle' with negativity and won, but perhaps it has more to do
with the New Moon, the eclipse and such things. Doesn't matter. I awarded myself a medal of valour anyway. I FELT
like a winner. Felt heaps better than feeling angry, I gotta say.

Do you think you are a nice person? I was thinking about that, being nice. I kinda don't think I am a very nice
person. Too self centered. Too interested in my own little private Universe. Don't seem fully qualified to be
considered 'nice'. Don't get me wrong...I'm not going around acting like a troll under the bridge or anything. Mostly
I just 'tend to my own knitting' and don't get involved with a whole lotta people or things. I tend to get impatient
with folks that never stand on their own two feet...you know needy people, who require all sorta 'propping up' all the
time. Do this for me do that for me...and the only time you even hear from those folks is when they DO want something.
I've noticed over the past few months that when this happens with a certain person it feels like they are some sorta
human vacuum cleaner, just trying to suck up your time, attention and energy. I'm pretty sure that qualifies me as
an 'un-nice' person. I'm not real proud of that, or the fact that when this person does request stuff I feel kinda
resentful. NOT gracious or compassionate or understanding...or least of all...patient. What do ya spose is up with
that? I mean it doesn't sound AT ALL 5D does it? Thing is, in all honesty, even when I take a look into what I'm
feeling and understand that this person must be struggling somehow to NEED alla this help and attention, it doesn't
change how I feel. Like DO IT YOURSELF. Don't be so bloody dependent on other folks...make your own way...be strong.
That definitely IS NOT compassionate understanding. Probably gonna ask for my lightworker ID card back. Is there
any saving grace in only talking about it here do ya think? I mean I don't wanna stir up any hurt feelings or such,
so mostly I just mutter grumble to myself. I WOULD tell this person exactly what I think, but the truth of the matter
is that she'd be crushed, heartbroken, and feel like a really important 'lifeline' has been severed. Can't do that.
Maybe there IS a crumb of niceness in there somewhere struggling to get out.

At least I can see some light at the end of the headache tunnel. Tomorrow or Friday I will be advised of my surgery
date. Woulda been nice if I coulda healed myself. I mean we do have so much more power than we used to. So much
more of our authentic selves are embodied now, you'd think we could do 'instant fixes'. So far it doesn't seem to be
working that way. Or maybe it is, and if I WASN'T working on myself things would be much worse. Perhaps this thing
in my sinus cavity is an implant. Maybe the last and final implant. Once this is removed I will zoom straight into
5D consciousness and just stay there. Maybe not, but it's a nice idea, don'tcha think? OK, it probably ISN'T an
ET implant...but now and then ya gotta add a bit of colour to your story...you know, spice things up a bit. Or is
that just me and my wild imagination talking? Life would be pretty dull without our imaginations spiffing up the
picture now and then. Hey, maybe when the 'implant' is removed I WILL be a nice person. Something to think about
I guess.

Mother Earth is putting on one doozie of a day today Warm, sunny, gentle breeze, AND a day of solitude. I LIKE
days of solitude. Probably all part of my inherent un-niceness I spose. I remember when the very LAST person
I wanted to spend time with was myself. Another big change huh? I mean once we finally fall unconditionally in
love with ourselves we figure out we are actually our own best friend. Big change from feeling like you were
your own worst enemy. All part of the programming of this 3/4D game. Distract yourself FROM yourself. Don't
look too closely, or you might just realize this IS all a programmed game and have to take responsibility for
yourself and everything you see, think, say and feel. Ya know, from here, where we are now, it's kinda hard
to remember WHY I didn't love myself back in 'the day'. Process. All part of the process.

Anyway, I dunno what's happening in the rest of the world, but today all feels right and positive in my little
corner. Nice. I like it this way. I'm thinking a bit later on I will get outside, soak up some vitamin D
and have a nice up close and personal chat with Mother Earth. Feels like that kinda day.


I Love You Mom.

Incense Guy

November 14, 2012, 6:29 pm
Always have always will!

Your Son



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