Soul Mates - Source Through Barbara Rose, Ph.D.

Soul Mates - Source Through Barbara Rose, Ph.D.

by Barbara Rose, Ph.D

May 21, 2008, Comments(4)
Twinsouls, groupsouls & souls

Questions and Answers

1. How do I know when I’ve met my Soul Mate?

2. If I’ve really met my soul mate, why is the relationship so difficult?

3. Why is it that many soul mates don’t stay together?

4. How can I turn the dynamics of this relationship around for lasting happiness?

5. Why do many soul mates continually return to each other?

6. How can we break old negative patterns between us?

7. If we’re apart, and miss each other, what will it take to make it work?



1. How do I know when I’ve met my Soul Mate?

There will be an instantaneous familiarity, a recognition, and an innate understanding and connection from the beginning that cannot be described logically.

You will be psychically attuned to each other, and will feel so alive in each other’s presence. It’s as if when together, you feel more enhanced, alive, and excited!

You can communicate on many levels at the same time, often “tuning into each other” and “knowing” what is going on with the other person.

There will be a shared sense of purpose. A deep love, and a feeling of “knowing” each other on a soul level. It will feel as if you are with your true counterpart on every level.

All of the feelings are mutual. There is a deep soul-level bond, and a deep feeling of having much in common on many levels.

Physical passion can be extremely intense, or in some soul mate relationships, there is more of an intellectual stimulus, and many times it is both combined.

There is chemistry, passion, electricity, and meaning. This is one relationship that will most likely be the most transformative one in your life, and one that you will always remember, no matter what happens.

2. If I’ve really met my soul mate, why is the relationship so difficult?

Soul Mate relationships are karmic. You have made a soul “agreement” to come into this life to meet again to uproot and transform each of your deepest healing and growth issues.

Naturally, when anyone is faced with having to face and heal eons of negative patterns, there is going to be deep resistance on the ego level.

It is vastly difficult to face what we really came into this life to heal. It will be your soul mate, or “twin flame” that will trigger your deepest growth issues to bring them up to the surface to be healed once and for all.

Naturally when this happens, there is turbulence within the relationship, because there is inner turbulence within each person as they are facing their deepest issues to heal them.

This is a deeply transformative process, and a deeply difficult one. However, once you each see that you are triggering growth within the other, and view it as the true gift that it is, then perhaps some of the resistance will dissipate.

In reality, as long as either one or both of you RESIST your growth issues, and resist facing them down to heal them, there is going to be a great deal of difficulty due to this resistance. However, once the resistance stops, and you face what needs to be healed within, then all of that turbulence within the relationship also dissipates, because you are no longer “fighting the river,” but are “going with the flow” where your can truly soar once you stop fighting everything you know deep within your heart to be true.

This requires a tremendous amount of self-honesty, and courage!

The truth of this matter is that once each of you are true to yourselves, and are completely honest with Self, then the difficulties within the relationship will also be transformed.

Being completely HONEST is the key, and that honesty MUST be to Self first, and then to the other.

3. Why is it that many soul mates don't stay together?

In every case I have seen, it was FEAR of being true to Self, and displaying that truth to the other.

One or both people refused to face what they needed to face to heal and grow. There were often issues stemming from ego that never made their way into the heart of the person.

Ego can NEVER be the foundation of a relationship – only TRUTH can. Truth is the ONLY thing that can sustain a relationship. If one person is avoiding their self-truth, then they are avoiding their growth agreement for this lifetime.

It is for this reason that most soul mates do not stay together. The relationship must be completely genuine. Each person can make many mistakes, however, where there is a refusal to go within to the heart center, and be completely true and honest with Self about what you are feeling inside, how can ANY relationship flourish? So this is the primary reason as to why soul mates to not stay together.

Spiritual law forbids that one stay with the other if either refuse to heal and grow, be honest, and fulfill their soul agreement.

The agreement was made TO GROW! So when that is not happening, sadly both people must part.

4. How can I turn the dynamics of this relationship around for lasting happiness?

The only way you can turn the dynamics around is when you turn YOURSELF around, and get REALLY HONEST.

If you feel something, say it. If you have something that is upsetting you, discuss it! If you feel confused, scared, blocked, or lost, talk about it!

Honest Communication is the KEY.

You have to STOP ALL GAMES, manipulation, defenses, and be AUTHENTIC and genuine with yourself, and with the other person.

Once you do this, and genuinely communicate what you are feeling, THEN you can have a chance to turn it all around for lasting happiness, and love.

5. Why do many soul mates continually return to each other?

Because the love is REAL. It is true, and it NEVER dies. You can be apart for decades, and the love will still be deep inside, even if you are living a full life on the outside.

True love IS eternal.

Once you’ve met your match, you never forget the person. You can go on, and you can even be with other people, however, there will always be a special place in your heart for your soul mate.

Many return to try to make it work out. Then the growth issues come up, which leads to turbulence within the relationship. Then they part, avoiding the growth lessons. Then they miss each other and return, after seeing that it wasn’t all that terrible to begin with, it was just a growth process!

If you find this happening in your life, take a look at whatever it is that you have been avoiding out of fear. Once you can get really honest with yourself about this, then you CAN be with someone that is your true match. Healing and honesty is required – that is the ONLY way it can ever work out.

6. How can we break old negative patterns between us?

You can only break the old negative patterns within YOURSELF. It is a BIG mistake to focus on the "issues" the other person has. This is avoiding self-growth completely.

Face YOUR fears, issues, and ask yourself what you really want!

What do you want in a relationship? Talk about it with the other person!

What areas would you like to come to an agreement about? Talk about it with the other person!

What have you been afraid of? Talk, talk, talk and COMMUNICATE!

It takes conscious effort to make this profound relationship work! It is SO worth it, once you can come to an agreement based on honesty!

That is the key to it all – it is in daring to expose how you feel, what you want, and even saying if you’re not sure – it’s all okay as long as it is completely honest!

Also see if there is a Higher reason why you chose to meet in this life. Is there something you can be teaming up to work on together? Do you share a common vision to make this world a better place?

So MANY of the “problems” CAN be cleared up once you make a conscious effort to really connect and communicate – HONESTLY!

If you have a disagreement – BIG DEAL! Everyone has disagreements! Just talk it over, and come to an agreement, share your views, and don’t run away!

So many times genuine communication can really clear up so much! THAT is why honest communication is the key! It is not to drag you down, it IS to lift you BOTH up to an authentic place where you CAN resolve things between you, as long as you don’t run away, and really want to resolve them.

You CAN break the negative patterns this way, and that is why this relationship entered your life – so you can both heal, grow, and be authentic knowing that anything can be resolved – you just have to want to come to a mutually agreeable resolution, and then, you can.

7. If we’re apart, and miss each other, what will it take to make it work?

Time. Many times people are not ready to face their deepest issues at the same time others are. Sometimes certain issues really need YEARS to be worked through. It is a growth process not a one time event.

Sometimes you may not get back together. That is something you have to come to terms with. You BOTH have to want to get together and make it work.

All you can do is become your own highest and best. You can’t “wait” for the other person. You MUST live your life to its fullest, in every area. Sometimes the time apart is the greatest gift! It can bring the truth up to the surface within each person, and if that truth means that you really do love each other, and want to be together, you can both make it happen.

If the love is real, it never dies.

Your life, however, is about really facing YOURSELF, and in that process, if you find that you do want to be together, life has a way of working it out. You have to express that desire, honestly.

Trust that it all works out for the best. Live and become your highest and best. If it is meant to be that you do end up together, that truth WILL come out in the end. It always does.

Be REAL – with YOURSELF, that is the only way you can ever be real and make it work with the other person if/when you ever do reunite. Trust there IS a Higher reason for it all – it is growth!

Copyright by Barbara Rose, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved.



May 25, 2008, 11:53 pm
Thank you for this beautiful post!

So Beautifully Put.

Hi Fi

May 21, 2008, 8:53 pm
So beautifully put by Rose and Robin, your comments too get to the heart of the matter. A great challenge.

It Is About Growth For Both, Isn't It?


May 21, 2008, 6:39 pm
When one or both parties resist their own growth, and have great difficulties, there could be more destructive kharma created. It would be wonderful if one partner could just continue to provide compassion, forgiveness and Love, but mighten it become a full time job? Hence, keeping the willing one from fullfilling his or her own destiny? Maybe not.

If only one of the two are willing to do the Self work involved, it usually becomes about even more than love, compassion and forgiveness; it then becomes enabling another soul to self destruct, or possiblye worse, having to watch and be a part of it by not allowing the space for the other to go to his/her heart and work through what is there to work through. This is of course assuming that the other may have tried for years to help one see, and faced his or her own life in the process.

If the individual of the two who is doing the Self work begins to stagnate in his/her own creativity, the divine purpose of the one idividual is likely being hindered.

Whereas, if one recognizes the patterns and has continually prayed for the highest good of the other, and exposed the other to the blessed pain and growth that comes from facing down the Self , and the other chooses to remain in a stuck place, it is a choice.

Well, those are my thoughts for now.

The articles by (Blank), I'm sorry I do not have the article in my screen, so I am unable to cite the author. I could describe what she looks like though:-). In any event, I feel this article is of profound depth, and I appreciate that there is a place like Light Workers.


Relationship As Sadhana


May 21, 2008, 5:05 pm
Dear Barbara, thank you! So much info regarding soulmate/twinflame issues but I really enjoyed your views and find them very clear and grounding.

I've caught myself wondering if my partner really were my soulmate or twinflame why sometimes we had such wonderful times and others times it can be just really difficult.
Eckhart Tolle mention in one of his books that a great practice is to view Relationship as you most sacred Sadhana.
I had been in enough relationships before and it is easy to keep jumping from branch to branch, in a addictive search for eternal passion and bliss.
Yes, it's not always the most pleasant choice to face our deepest fears and challenges but ultimately turning away from them will not vanish them so isn't it nice to find ways
to keep forgiving each other, accepting each other and realeasing old patterns freeing space for new ways of being?!

I've realized that when we keep turning incessantly to the present moment, keep observing the antics of our minds/egos, there's nothing that can harm us. It starts getting
easier to feel that disconfort, even fret... but still have the dettachment to know that's only illusion and to know that all is OK.

So finding someone that is willing to go on a journey that can be joyous but also challenging is indeed a blessing (0:

Thank you dear Barbara! Ah I have a question...
In you opinion, is there a difference between soulmates and twinflames? what would them be?

in Love and Light Rose
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